The Grad Guide: Navigating Supervisor Relationships

Question: Why do graduate student/supervisor relationships become strained over time? Answer: A difference in priorities.

But first, let’s explore how to build a strong relationship from the start.

The Supervisor-Student-Project Relationship Triangle

Consider the triangle below, where each line represents one of three main relationships during your degree. Ideally, you and your supervisor would both have a sound understanding of your project, and an amicable relationship with each other. However, there can be times where one of these relationships is strained. Maybe your supervisor doesn’t really understand the direction your project has taken, since it now outside of their expertise. Or maybe your relationship with your supervisor is strained, but you both envision success of the project. Since the student-supervisor relationship is something you can work to improve, here’s how.

Determining Your Supervisor's Expectations

Setting yourself up for success with your supervisor begins during the onboarding phase. Make sure that your supervisor outlines their expectations, and if they don’t, ask. You may also wish to share some of your expectations as a graduate student; both parties should agree on the lab code of conduct.

Other key discussion points:

• Work schedule and hours (e.g., do you need to be in the lab daily, work 9am-5pm and on weekends? Do you have control over your time and schedule, if productivity is consistent?).

• Preferred communication means channels and possible frequency, i.e., is this over email, Slack, MS teams and only for major issues. Is someone else in the lab your main contact for minor/immediate issues such as the research associate or lab manager.

• Absences and vacations – do they require notices for sick days, and how much advance notice for time away? Also check your union contract if applicable.

Acing Recurring Meetings

To have a positive and productive meeting with your supervisor requires you to first realize that this, like all relationships, will take time and effort to build. You want to ensure that you bring both your interpersonal skills and professionalism into your meeting. Being prepared for these meetings will help you maximize the time with your supervisor (which can be precious, depending on their schedule).

Prior to your meeting:

• Send your supervisor a slide deck 1-2 days in advance that contains:

  • Any major accomplishments (results, analyses etc.)

  • Active projects and priorities for the next 1-2 weeks

  • Proposed experiments and methods

  • Questions

    
    

During the meeting:

• Present your slide deck highlighting key accomplishments and goals.

• Get their input on proposed experiments and questions you may have.

• Note: early on, you are not the expert. Don’t be afraid to ask your supervisor – this is what they are there for! Rely on their expertise and deep knowledge to help you identify the best methods/analyses to use for your project. But this should not be a passive process, where you simply ask without putting in any effort. Make sure you have also spent time reviewing the literature and consulting others before asking your PI, so you can have a fruitful discussion with your them. There is no benefit to you getting them to “think for you” or just “doing as told”.

Post meeting:

• Write up a summary for yourself to keep track of your action plan, and advice received.

• If you have any points of clarification, email your supervisor – do not worry about “bothering or annoying” them. It’s better to be certain on the direction to take earlier on, rather than waiting until your next meeting.

Convincing Your Supervisor of New Ideas

Research is ever evolving, and your ideas will follow suit. It can be exciting to want to test new hypotheses, but there needs to be a well-thought-out rationale behind it. So how do you get your supervisor to agree?

1. Do your research: As a scientist, your PI will want an evidence-based rationale for why a certain experiment or method is an appropriate right step for your project. As you become the expert in your niche area, your knowledge base will grow, making it easier to advocate for, and justify these new ideas.

2. Consider the costs: If you are planning to conduct additional experiments with reagents your lab already has, this may go over easier, versus if you plan to spend $1000 on new antibodies or enzyme kits. Also, think about if the new products could be used by lab mates or collaborators.

3. Think about the time investment: How feasible are these new experiments with your completion timeline? On one hand, as you get closer to finishing your degree, you may want to stop experiments and focus on writing. On the other hand, it’s possible that a few new key experiments could help elevate your previous findings and increase the impact of your work. If the latter is true, make sure you frame your argument around it.

4. Find the right turning point: There will be critical moments where new experiments are 100% necessary. Perhaps your current approach is yielding inconclusive results or have proven your hypothesis to be incorrect. Or perhaps you have uncovered an unexpected result and now need to pursue a different line of investigation. Knowing when to pivot your research direction (and convince your PI to support this) can help you succeed in graduate school.

Why Do Student-Supervisor Relationships Change (for the worst)

The main reason for a breakdown in supervisor-student relationships is differing priorities. For the supervisor, their priority is maintaining their research program – the never-ending cycle of publishing papers and securing funding (so they can conduct experiments for more publications). For the graduate student, publishing may be a priority and goal, but so is finishing their degree within a reasonable timeframe regardless of if the paper gets published – this is the main divider.

A supervisor is always going to want more. More experiments, more publications, more time with you in their research lab. Relatively speaking, a graduate student costs less than a postdoc (and research associate), but towards the end of their degree, would arguably have a comparable skill and competency level.

As a graduate student, the concept of publishing is very lucrative and can be a high motivator throughout your degree. Departments may even require ‘X’ number of publications before the degree is awarded (though more are moving away from a practical standpoint). As you get closer to the end of your degree, publishing may not be the priority, especially if you do not plan to stay in academia, which many students do not (certain industries do not care about your publications).

How to Navigate a Strained Relationship

1. Seek common ground: depending on when the relationship with your supervisor begins to feel strained, you may still need to work alongside them for years. It is best to be as proactive as possible, and find small areas of agreement, shared goals, and wins. Perhaps an experiment you were having difficulties with has finally resolved, or get a promising result. These pieces of good news can re-create that sense of collaboration, support, and help to ease friction.

2. Stay calm, open, and professional: When tensions rise, don’t let emotions take over. You might feel frustrated, but showing anger won’t help.

   Try these 3 things instead:

   a) keep responses short and neutral: “Sure, I’ll handle that”.

   b) be open to compromise and stay flexible when you can: “Thanks for the suggestion, I’ll give it a try.”

   c) consider mindfulness apps for breathing techniques and grounding exercises to help you stay centered in stressful moments.

3. Keep a ‘paper’ trail: If your supervisor has the tendency to provide conflicting advice on experiments and project direction, summarize meetings and send a follow-up email asking them to confirm the details. This ensures clarity and provides a reference point for future discussions.

4. Present your plan: Once you have a solid plan of experiments and a timeline to completion mapped out, share it with your supervisor. As tension arises, it is best to go into your meetings with “solutions” rather than “problems”, so you can limit their feedback.

   Here are some examples:

   a) “Experiment A didn’t work out so I am going to do Experiment B which will give a similar predicted result.”

   b) “Based on papers Y and Z, I think my next experiment will be C, because of reasons X.” 

5. Leverage your advisory committee: If you and your supervisor disagree on your project's direction, presenting all options to your committee for fresh and balanced perspective may offer insights that everyone is happy with. This approach can also work when seeking permission to write, helping you gauge the necessity of extra experiments. In some cases, 1:1 meetings with your advisors can be beneficial for deciding your next steps, especially when their expertise is more closely aligned with your evolving project (compared to your supervisor’s).

6. Seek support: If you need help managing conflict with your supervisor, it may be time to seek out confidential resources at your institution. Start with your student union and graduate coordinators in your home department. If the situation escalates, you can also reach out to central graduate offices who can best handle complex situations. Personal support is also available through your university’s equity and health & wellness offices.